A bit more than a year ago, I was planning to leave an abusive marriage. I was saving money and walking on egg shells. A friend of mine suggested I look into self-defense. We both knew the most dangerous time for a women in a domestic situation is during the process of leaving and right after leaving. Statistically, she is safer to stay. He first suggested I learn how to shoot and get my CCW, just in case. I flat out said no. I didn’t like guns. Then, he suggested pepper spray. I was no more comfortable with that idea and never did go get the pepper spray.
But talking to him about personal responsibility got me started on a long road that’s lead me here. Here to where I go out to events like Gun Blogger Rendezvous and learn to shoot steel and cowboy fast action. Here to where I think that shooting at paper targets during events like Appleseed is a good way to improve my discipline, self-confidence, marksmanship, value as a citizen, hand-eye coordination and more. Here to where I do have my CCW.
Learning to shoot gave me back a lot of the confidence to try new things, to not be afraid of being good at something, confidence that I had lost in my marriage. I am so glad that I was introduced into the world of guns. It took me a long time to feel comfortable here. In my first post about my gun evolution, I wrote that around guns I felt sick, cold, nervous, unsafe. I have sure come a long way.
To read more about my journey, read these entries:
How I Got Comfortable With Guns: Part I Get GG to feel comfortable with guns in the house
How I Got Comfortable With Guns: Part II Get GG shooting
How I Got Comfortable With Guns: Part III Get GG Comfortable with Open Carry
How I Got Comfortable With Guns: Part IV Get GG Comfortable with Concealed Carry
I am thinking about my evolution, about personal responsibility and self-defense right now not simply because it’s been a year since the dissolution of my marriage, but also because my ex is attempting to come back into my life right now. He tried to friend me on the Facebook account I have locked down privacy-wise and am listed under my maiden name on; I, of course, ignored that friend request. Then, he sent me an email. It simply said “i miss you.”
I’m not going to email back.
I posted a links post for today which featured a blog called “Lawyer with a Gun.” He recounted the following conversation:
“I carry a gun to protect myself if necessary. I don’t carry it to intimidate, and I’m not a violent person. I’m may be one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet. However, not everyone I deal with is that understanding.”
“Well,” the employee said, “you would have a different view if anyone ever pointed one of those things in your face.”
I paused for a moment. “I’m sorry you had to go through that, but the problem was not the gun, the problem was the individual who pointed it at you.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“Besides, would your story have been any different if you had been armed and able to defend yourself?”
[a brief pause and look of understanding] “Never really thought of it that way.”
Here on a one-year anniversary from the divorce of an abusive spouse, here as a woman with a CCW, that conversation above is one that makes sense for me to have with myself.