The evolution of a gun girl

A bit more than a year ago, I was planning to leave an abusive marriage. I was saving money and walking on egg shells. A friend of mine suggested I look into self-defense. We both knew the most dangerous time for a women in a domestic situation is during the process of leaving and right after leaving. Statistically, she is safer to stay. He first suggested I learn how to shoot and get my CCW, just in case. I flat out said no. I didn’t like guns. Then, he suggested pepper spray. I was no more comfortable with that idea and never did go get the pepper spray.

But talking to him about personal responsibility got me started on a long road that’s lead me here. Here to where I go out to events like Gun Blogger Rendezvous and learn to shoot steel and cowboy fast action. Here to where I think that shooting at paper targets during events like Appleseed is a good way to improve my discipline, self-confidence, marksmanship, value as a citizen, hand-eye coordination and more. Here to where I do have my CCW.

Learning to shoot gave me back a lot of the confidence to try new things, to not be afraid of being good at something, confidence that I had lost in my marriage. I am so glad that I was introduced into the world of guns. It took me a long time to feel comfortable here. In my first post about my gun evolution, I wrote that around guns I felt sick, cold, nervous, unsafe. I have sure come a long way.

To read more about my journey, read these entries:

I am thinking about my evolution, about personal responsibility and self-defense right now not simply because it’s been a year since the dissolution of my marriage, but also because my ex is attempting to come back into my life right now. He tried to friend me on the Facebook account I have locked down privacy-wise and am listed under my maiden name on; I, of course, ignored that friend request. Then, he sent me an email. It simply said “i miss you.”

I’m not going to email back.

I posted a links post for today which featured a blog called “Lawyer with a Gun.” He recounted the following conversation:

“I carry a gun to protect myself if necessary.  I don’t carry it to intimidate, and I’m not a violent person.  I’m may be one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet.  However, not everyone I deal with is that understanding.”

“Well,” the employee said, “you would have a different view if anyone ever pointed one of those things in your face.”

I paused for a moment.  “I’m sorry you had to go through that, but the problem was not the gun, the problem was the individual who pointed it at you.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Besides, would your story have been any different if you had been armed and able to defend yourself?”

[a brief pause and look of understanding]  “Never really thought of it that way.”

Here on a one-year anniversary from the divorce of an abusive spouse, here as a woman with a CCW, that conversation above is one that makes sense for me to have with myself.

9 Comments

  • Sean Sorrentino says:

    Facebook trick. Block your former spouse. Go to Facebook and find his profile. In the bottom left corner is a link, “Report/Block this Person.” Click that and follow the prompts to block him. It tells Facebook to prevent him contacting you and it makes you invisible to him on Facebook. Most email programs will allow you to automatically deliver email from a particular sender directly to the trash so you don’t even see it.

    I always enjoy hearing stories about women who get out. Enjoy your freedom. Guard it with everything you have. If someone runs into a bullet on his way to take your freedoms away, well, too bad for him. If he makes wise choices and never has to look down the barrel of your gun, may he have a long life in peace. Only he can chose his path.

    • girlsloveguns says:

      I was talking about Facebook and email blocking to my boyfriend GB last night. Facebook blocking seems like a good idea to me, but I’m unsure about setting his emails to go to the trash. If he starts sending me threatening messages instead of the very strange “i miss you” message, I want to know that he’s escalated. What do you think?

      I’m enjoying my freedom. I thank God every day that our marriage ended and that we didn’t stay together very long. I’m glad I didn’t waste too many years of my life that way.

      • Sean Sorrentino says:

        Hard to say really. I’ve never been in that position. When I got tired of the Ex-GF bothering me i just set it up to auto-delete. I never had to worry that she’d turn into a stalker. You’ll just have to make your own best judgement on that one.

  • keewee says:

    I noticed at the rendezvous how you handled the guns with confidence and safety. I am glad you have taken the necessary steps to protect yourself from harm. I enjoyed getting to know you, and hope to see you next year at the GBR

    • girlsloveguns says:

      Thanks for pointing that out! I didn’t know how to check the revolvers, but The Smallest Minority helped me with that. The rest of the guns and rifles came my way just fine and I knew what to do. It is so cool to look back and see how much I’ve improved in my life!

      I wasn’t really sure about how to pass them off to people. I just kept the muzzle in a safe direction and didn’t let go until I was sure they had a hold of the thing. I think that worked okay.

      I had a blast with you at the rendezvous! Thanks for working so hard with Mr. Completely to get everything put together 🙂 I’ll be there again next year!

  • DirtCrashr says:

    All I have to say is Congratulations!!

  • Andescruz says:

    I very much enjoyed your post. and kudos to you on your journey.
    I haven’t been in the same situations, but being in Canada, unless you hunt, people look at you cross eyed when you mention the word gun, and VERY few people have restricted weapon permits – giving them the ability to legally buy a handgun. Of course we can’t carry them. We can take them to a specific range for which we have obtained a permit to transport them to. In any case, I am a single woman, and I own now a handgun, and a rifle. I have been blessed to meet a group of fantastic men who are mentoring me in how to shoot – they compete on IPSC and SASS events, and some are very skilled. They’re the nicest guys ever. But the rest of the planet, reacts really bizarrely to the idea of even owning a gun. People here don’t think. I tell them: Even if you didn’t own a car, you would still know how to drive and have a driver licence, wouldn’t you? Knowing how to safely operate and disarm a firearm is no different. Of course that gets met with the silent treatment, and disbelief and rebuttal. Anyway, I Know just what you mean, and walk the same path. It’s smart to know what to do, and be good at it, and not afraid. for whatever your reasons are for owning a gun.

    • girlsloveguns says:

      Wow, Canada’s gun laws are very strict. People give me funny looks when I mention shooting here and we’ve more access to firearms than you do. It’s sad.

      Anyway, I’m glad you’re learning and having fun! Keep being a good example. I agree that everyone should know at least the basics. Hopefully more people will go learn those basics as we keep talking to them about guns.

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