Domestic Violence, Exes and Guns

Everyday, I read the gun news. To keep me informed and to get some content on the blog here for you all, even when I’m super-busy with final exams and Thanksgiving. I’ve been trying to keep my head in my school books so I can get good grades on my finals, but reading this article really got me all riled up. It’s an ask-me-for-advice type article from a site called Salon. In it, a woman who has left an abusive relationship writes in because her new boyfriend is afraid her ex will show up with a shot gun. This is part of her advice-seeking letter:

I was on the receiving end of a physically, emotionally and verbally abusive relationship for almost 10 years. It wasn’t easy, but I got out and I’m happy… I disclosed the tip of the iceberg about the verbal and emotional abuse, just to explain why I avoid confrontation. My boyfriend was upset, naturally, and said that if he ever met my ex he would tell him off. I replied that I would do everything in my power to make sure that they never met, because my ex is a big, crazy dude. My boyfriend asked if my ex could “take him” and I answered honestly that yes, he could. Plus, he has guns… I guess I should have kept my  mouth shut.”

The author of the article advised her to NOT keep her mouth shut and to do whatever it takes to feel safe again. From changing her attitude or taking self-defense classes to buying her own gun. He said, “I think you should get a shotgun. Wouldn’t you rather be the one with the shotgun? I’m all in favor of women having guns.”

I am happy that he advised her to arm herself. Often, an abuse victim is in more danger during the process of leaving or right after leaving an abusive relationship than she was when she was staying in the relationship. I know, I’ve been there.


  • James says:

    My ol’ lady is an excellent example of the same.
    She spent year after year with an abusive and dangerous ex, and after she left him she found out that a protective order isn’t worth the paper it is printed on.

    I took her under my wing and taught her how to shoot and have encouraged the mindset of self respect and self defense. She now has her own gun collection, the will to use them as well as the courage.
    A gun is an empowering tool in responsible hands and is irreplaceable for any modern woman who has self preservation in mind.

    • girlsloveguns says:

      Aww, I love you James. That comment made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. 🙂

      At the battered women’s shelter, they had support groups and they’d sit down with you and help you figure out how you’re gonna make it with all the bills of a married person on a single income, and that’s all good, but…

      Where are the self-defense classes? The CCW courses? A big, mean, determined, abusive ex isn’t going to care about my shiny new budget or that I have a group of friends who understand how I’m feeling. But defense? That he can get through his skull and it might save me. It’d definitely be of more use to me than a piece of paper should he show up with violence on his mind.

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