Tag: abuse

Wednesday, November 24th, 2010

Domestic Violence, Exes and Guns

Everyday, I read the gun news. To keep me informed and to get some content on the blog here for you all, even when I’m super-busy with final exams and Thanksgiving. I’ve been trying to keep my head in my school books so I can get good grades on my finals, but reading this article really got me all riled up. It’s an ask-me-for-advice type article from a site called Salon. In it, a woman who has left an abusive relationship writes in because her new boyfriend is afraid her ex will show up with a shot gun. This is part of her advice-seeking letter:

I was on the receiving end of a physically, emotionally and verbally abusive relationship for almost 10 years. It wasn’t easy, but I got out and I’m happy… I disclosed the tip of the iceberg about the verbal and emotional abuse, just to explain why I avoid confrontation. My boyfriend was upset, naturally, and said that if he ever met my ex he would tell him off. I replied that I would do everything in my power to make sure that they never met, because my ex is a big, crazy dude. My boyfriend asked if my ex could “take him” and I answered honestly that yes, he could. Plus, he has guns… I guess I should have kept my  mouth shut.”

The author of the article advised her to NOT keep her mouth shut and to do whatever it takes to feel safe again. From changing her attitude or taking self-defense classes to buying her own gun. He said, “I think you should get a shotgun. Wouldn’t you rather be the one with the shotgun? I’m all in favor of women having guns.”

I am happy that he advised her to arm herself. Often, an abuse victim is in more danger during the process of leaving or right after leaving an abusive relationship than she was when she was staying in the relationship. I know, I’ve been there.

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